this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
