so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
