Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
