I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
