I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
