She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
