She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
