Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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