Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
