i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How's work?
Spinning.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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