so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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