i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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