What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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