Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
