I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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