My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm bleeding and have questions
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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