Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
