so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
