its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
