he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
and she was petting her beer can
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
