spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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