my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
