I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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