Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
