i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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