if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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