we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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