She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
