Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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