they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
