I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
