are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
