They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
