cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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