love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
