My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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