My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
