I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
