i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize