He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
