I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
