problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
