i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
