I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need water and some morals
Randomize
