Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
