dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
