glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
