He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
