yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
