lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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