Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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